Join us at Ground Zero and make local businesses great again

How to survive and thrive in the High Street Apocalypse

If you run a local bricks 'n' mortar business and you feel like you're being pulled under by the masses of apathetic, and negative high-street businesses who've bought into the idea the "High Street is dead" because of circumstances they believe are beyond their control...

... then you're in the right place.

Because we think that's bullshit.

No... we know it's bullshit.

True story.

Went into a coffee shop the other day, a popular brand and staffed by a bunch of slack-jawed mouth breathers who in past times would have been stuck in their villages being idiots. To paraphrase Rowan Atkinson: “either these people are suffering from serious brain damage or the new vacuum cleaners have arrived”.

I counted five behind the counter and only one appeared to be doing anything constructive. Three of the four were engaged in busywork, and the last was on his fucking phone, scrolling away and tapping at the fucking screen.

And all the time, the line waited patiently for service.

Except me.

I walked out and grumped elsewhere.

The lesson: the High Street is allegedly being strangled by the Big Boys — Amazon and other big online retailers — inexorably dying, and through no fault of its own.


The High Street and the local bricks ’n’ mortar business therein and thereabouts is dying because they’re fucking incompetent, for the most part.

My experience in this coffee shop is by no means untypical.

Go into almost any High-Street store on a Saturday and you get the same gum-chewing indolence, a social-media and entitlement-attitude fuelled apathy and listlessness turning today’s teenagers into vacuous blobs of useless protoplasm.

Succeeding in business really is NOT hard because the bar is so fucking low.

It’s just a matter of doing what others won’t do, not what they can’t do.

And what you can (and should) do now is leave your details below and join us at Ground Zero for what we intend to be a revolution on the High Street.

Cuz we're gonna save the High Street if we have to drag it kicking and screaming to safety ourselves.

You with us?