February 26


I’ve had occasion to go into town recently.

Something of a rarity for me, it has to be said, but some things require you to get off your arse and go somewhere.

But other than the times when they need the physical manifestation of The EBG in their presence, the vast majority of local businesses lose out to online retailers.


Part of it’s my wiring — my Asperger’s means I find going into even a quiet town and Peopling exhausting — but also it’s so much easier and more convenient to do it online. I do virtually ALL my Christmas and birthday shopping sitting on my arse at my desk.

And, Asperger’s aside, this is not untypical.

Does it mean the High Street is doomed? 

Is it dying? Or dead already, and all we see now is the gaseous stirring of a settling corpse?


It means nowt of the sort.

Because plenty of (to me seriously fucked-up) people love going into town for going into town’s sake (my mum was one of them); but on top of that there are the über-hermits like me who’ll go into town by choice with the right incentive.

Say… bikes.

I can and have in the past bought bikes and their paraphernalia online.

But despite the fact I have to go and talk to people face-to-face (always a trial for me), I’ll willingly do it if you make it worth my while — and that doesn’t mean “to get a discount”.

People don’t like to be sold too?

Bollocks, they don’t.

They love it… when it’s treated as a seduction rather than an emotionless quickie up against the wall with some tart in an alley, or, even worse, rape.

If the High Street does wither and die it’ll be the victim of a self-fulfilling prophesy, mark my words.

We don’t have to let it happen. 

Businesses can and will thrive, let alone just survive the High Street Zombie Apocalypse, if they pull their finger out and take steps to stop it happening. Because all it takes for the High Street and local bricks ’n’ mortar businesses to die is good business owners to do nothing.

And that’s why Connor and I are kicking off the Ground Zero initiative. One way or another, we’re gonna drag the High Street kicking and screaming into the world of 21st commerce.

We’ll do it alone if we have to, but if you’d like to join us, we’d love to have you aboard.

And if you want to learn more, click below and we’ll put you on the list to get more info.

Click here for Ground Zero details


P.S. My mum was such a people-person (in the sense she liked being around them; she wasn’t particularly nice to or about them, ever), she’d get on the bus and go to Bingo every Friday.

For the Love of God… 

I dropped in to see her once and it was exactly as fucking dire as you can imagine: a bunch of cackling old crones sitting round in a blue fug of cigarette smoke picking, poking, and sniping at each other in a game of senescent one-upmanship.

I lasted about 10 minutes before I fled.

Thing is, even though it wasn’t my thing — understatement of the decade — the place was always heaving. 

And given the right incentive — delivering experiences your punters want — pretty much any bricks ’n’ mortar business could do the same.

Join us for the Ground Zero initiative, and help us make that happen.

Click here for Ground Zero details


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