Ugh. 

I was shocked, I tell you.

I mean… there’s the right way to do it and the wrong way…

… and what Mrs EBG was suggesting was just plain wrong.

Almost… dirty. 

And not in a nice way.

Let me explain…

I love my routine.

More… I need my routine. I also need structure.

Because if the first is missing, I find it uncomfortable to the point of distraction; and if I have no structure, then I tend to lose myself in a delightful maze of exploration where I learn much but achieve nothing.

And my need for routine means if we go on a certain walk… we do it a certain way.

Because that’s the way it’s supposed to be done, right?

Right.

Yeah, I know it’s illogical and makes no sense whatsoever, but I’m happy in my own Special Aspie skin and, with rare exceptions, I don’t waste a second of my life fretting about not being normal.

So yesterday when Mrs EBG suggested we walk anti-clockwise around one of our walks instead of clockwise, I got this uneasy feeling spreading through my psyche.

It’s just not right… I mean… anti-fucking-clockwise, for the Love of God?!

Mrs EBG saw my face and just laughed.

She does that.

Of course, because I’m not a precious and humourless twat, I laughed, too. Like I said: I’m happy in my own Special Aspie skin.

Anyway, we did it the other way round and, as you can expect, the sky didn’t fall in, we didn’t die, and nothing even remotely bad happened.

Moral of the story?

Uncomfortable though it may be, simply doing something a different way ain’t necessarily a bad thing. 

I’m not one for change and the tedious and clichéd “massive action” for the sake of it (because you’re usually being exhorted to take the “massive action” of paying someone for their shit, much to no one’s surprise).

But sometimes a different perspective on things, such as the one you get by walking the walk in the other direction, can reveal shit you never knew was there.

All the more reason to book a call with The Bald One, for I guarantee that same ritual-loving Aspie brain of his has a very different (and profitable) perspective on your business than you do.

Only one way to find out… options below.

Witheringly,

P.S. Just before we got back to the car we got mobbed by FIVE from dogs — boxer, couple of collies, a terrier, and a King Charles. 

Lord, but they were noisy and fiercely protective of their home.

But The EBG wove his magic doggy spells and within minutes the ferocious beasts were leaning on him and licking his face off.

I like dogs. And dogs generally like me.

I think it’s because we are similarly emotionally uncomplicated, plus I I find it easy to read dogs’ body language since they’re either Really Fucking Happy to See You or are telling you in no uncertain terms to Fuck Off.

But whatever you do…

… don’t mistake my simplicity for lack of nous.

A common error, to be sure (happens to Dev and me, both, when we’re out on the piss, it has to be said — the rest is… messy).

Anyway… back off to bed for my Sunday lie in (of sorts, since I was already up at 0600).

In the meantime… choose your poison below.