I had an almost vomit-inducing encounter with a rancid bag of pus the other day.

Background: on LinkedIn I invite people to message me if they want to fix a time to talk about growing their business (although later this very day I should have finished the GYBF Operation website, so they can use that from tomorrow).

Anyway, apropos my offer — or so I thought — the following dropped into my message box:

A reasonable question, right?

I mean, nothing sleazy so far, eh?

So my reply was friendly if noncommittal:

Alas, it was here he lanced the boil and allowed the pus to dribble onto his keyboard:

Ugh.

My gorge rose and I was almost overcome by the need to bleach my eyeballs and throw myself into a scalding hot shower.

I felt sullied and not a little violated (and not in a nice kinky way).

So here’s what I sent back:

What’s wrong with this approach?

I mean, you might think it’s a perfectly acceptable way to drum up business.

Not in my book, it’s not.

I think it’s sneaky, slimy, and full of guile. He's no doubt been told using this kind of language trickery is "clever" and "forces" the mark to blah, blah, blah.

Nah. Those clever little "ninja" language tricks do nothing more than make him look like the duplicitous, sly, and unscrupulous cunt he is.

And if he’s prepared to be this much of a skidmark now, then what else about him and his business is shady?

But never mind all that, there’s a glaring problem with the whole premise.

First, if his methods of getting high quality prospects is so fucking amazing, why is he targeting me, when a moment’s study would show him I’m perhaps the worst person in the entire fucking world to target with this kind of duplicitous shit.

And secondly, even if the prospects are well-targeted, is this how he recommends his clients approach them?

For the Love of All That’s Holy, spare me

Who on earth thinks this kind of selling is in any way acceptable? 

Who taught him this?

What the fuck happened in his life to make him into such a loathsome example of humanity?

Jesus.

Still, it’s a great example of how low people in my industry are prepared to stoop (he reached the bottom of the Sleaze Barrel, chewed through it, and carried right on down in his plunge to the nadir of good taste), and an object lesson why you need to be careful when you’re looking for help with your marketing.

Me?

Well, I’m not nice.

I think nice is overrated (and often slimy).

But I am decent.

And while there’s a whole army of people out there who don’t like me, there’s not a one who’d legitimately question my honesty and integrity.

You want sleaze, slime, and shady, shifty shitbags?

Or the fluffy-bunnyesque love of The EBG?

‘Sup to you.

Witheringly,

P.S. T’other day I said I meditated, and while I enjoyed it I didn’t have any evidence to show whether it was beneficial or not.

Well… now I have.

Maybe (it’s a small sample size).

Because the other morning I woke from an unpleasant dream, the kind where the mood in your dream sticks with you when you wake up, and even though you know it’s all bollocks and was just a dream, you still feel like crap.

So I was sad and a bit down…

… but I got out of bed and went downstairs to kick of my day as usual with 20 minutes’ meditation…

… and when I was done I felt my usual annoyingly cheerful self.