April 20


So there I was at the cashpoint, minding my own business in the sunshine when I felt the hand on my arm.

It was the drunken bloke I’d seen earlier staggering up the road. I’d already clocked him and chosen to ignore him, even though I knew he’d spotted me and felt the need to thrust his presence on my day.

I barely looked at him.

“Take your hands off me”, I said loudly, “Don’t touch me”.

The girls in front of me started and looked around at us. He grinned at them and said something about only being friendly… 

… and then did it again.

I looked at him through my shades. He was big — tall, maybe 6’1” to my 5’5” – and probably in his late 20s or early 30s. Much bigger than me and a couple of decades younger. 

Feh. He wouldn’t last more than 30 seconds.

“Put your hands on me again and I’ll fucking break them”, I said.

He hurriedly took his hand away and started mumbling at me, flicking his eyes between me and the girls in front.

“Are you a crazy man? You need to chill. Have some beer!” he said, his voice thick with alcohol and a decidedly Eastern European accent.

I didn’t deign to look at him, let alone answer him.

And so he persisted in trying to engage me in conversation, trying to get some response out of me.

But at this point there was only one response he was likely to get, and he wouldn’t have enjoyed that half as much as I would. 

So I ignored him but made sure he was always in my peripheral vision, and, just like James Bond, had a plan of how to kill him should the need arise.

Finally, the queue moved forward and it was my turn. 

He moved in on my right. Too close.

I spun to face him, arms out ready for defence or attack.

“Step away from me” I said forcefully, deliberately taking a step towards him. “Don’t come near me”, I said.

“JEEESUS…!”, he said backing away, “I’m only being friendly!”

“Fuck off”, I said. “Keep away from me”.

He mumbled something else and slunk off to wait for his turn some distance away.

I collected my cash and left, making sure I could see him until I was some distance away.

He shouted something after me, but I didn’t catch it. I doubt it was complimentary. 

I don’t have ego enough to care. If he’s wanted to push it that far, he’d have done it already. It was bluster and face-saving.

Better he save face than lose his fucking eyeballs.

“WTF, EBG?”.

Yeah, I get it.

Thing is, he was a threat. I can’t read people at the best of times, and this guy was drunk, which makes it exponentially harder.

But, more important than that he laid hands upon me without invitation or permission. In my eyes that crosses a line beyond which I’m entitled to react as I see fit. I don’t hold with the view violence is always wrong. 

While I live by the principle of non aggression, when it comes to self-defence, force — even lethal force — is both necessary and even desirable. Don’t break into my house or attempt to use force or coercion on me or those under my protection, and we’ll get along fine.

Anyway… there’s a lot going on here, most of which is directly and immediately relevant to your business and how you deal with clients and prospects.

  1. Assess the threat and potential impact of interaction. Turns out he wasn’t a serious threat, even if he turned aggressive, but he was still unpredictable because he was drunk. So I decided not to engage him at all beyond setting and making my boundaries clear.
  2. Set and make your boundaries clear. The moment he touched me I told him — very loudly — to stop and not do it again. The same happened when he stepped too close. There was no possible way he could misinterpret any of this or claim later he wasn’t aware of the consequences if he didn’t stop. Most people don’t do this — they’ll drop their heads, assume the victim-attitude, and hope things turn out OK. 
  3. Decide whether to engage or not… and then stick with it. I decided instantly I wasn’t going to engage with this arsewipe beyond setting and enforcing my boundaries (however I had to do that). He was poking and prodding, using insults, questions, compliments, and inane chatter as conversational gambits to try to get me to engage him. But I didn’t give him what he wanted because there was no point and the only possible result for me would have been negative. I set my rules, told him what they were, and said nothing further except to enforce them.
  4. When you need to act, act. And act decisively. Most fights you see are of the “push me, push you” variety. Two young blokes puffing themselves up into a confrontation they hope their mates will pull them away from. That’s not the way to do it. If you don’t have to fight, don’t. But when you do, fight to win and go in instantly with maximum violence and aggression. You don’t win a fight with a long introduction and saving your big guns for when you’re struggling. Go in fast and hard and try to put them down in the first couple of seconds. Like, sloth to raging berserker in no time flat. I have a handful of favourite techniques I perfected when I was a doorman and assiduous student of martial arts and self-defence, and they work fine. You don’t need to get fancy. It’s amazing how much damage you can do to someone’s face, wellbeing, and mental state with your hands and fingers (eyes and throats are particularly soft and vulnerable). My favourite thing is The Shredder from Krav Maga. It does exactly what it says on the tin.

All very simple, and, once you get in the habit of thinking and acting like this, remarkably easy.

As I’ve said before: I walk my talk.

Anyway… you need some uncompromising, no-BS help with positioning yourself and your business so you can get top-drawer clients and customers for your biz, sell at higher prices, and work with better people without losing sales?

Then message me here and we’ll arrange a time to talk.


P.S. A free self-defence tip for you (and, yes, I’m qualified to give it). Using your voice LOUDLY to tell people to move away, and STOP is the first thing to do when you detect a threat, and is more often than not enough to stop them in their tracks, especially in a public place.

So — ladies in particular — if some dirty bastard is rubbing up against you in a crowd, invading your personal space, or otherwise trying to intimidate you and assume you’re going to remain silent and let them get away with it…

… don’t be afraid to yell your displeasure for everyone to hear. 

Same with the men. Apart from anything else, if things do go South and you end up hurting someone, you’ll likely have witnesses who heard you telling them to back off. It makes a claim of self-defence far more plausible.

Remember: people will ALWAYS treat you exactly how you allow them to. This kind of situation is no different.


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