I was in the shower with my dogs, Roy and Doris.

We all stank of shit. I still do.

You know why I was in the shower with Roy and Doris?

Because they were covered in cowshit.

You know why they were covered in cowshit?

Because the farmer sprayed the field to the South yesterday, and when I let the mutts out for a bedtime piss, they went exploring and came back half an hour later covered in the stuff.

Oh, man… the stench.

Oh, man… the shit walked in all over the tile and wooden floors.

So what did I do?

What needed to be done.

I showered the filthy fuckers.

This morning?

I’m mopping the entire downstairs because there are shitty pawprints all over the tiles and wooden floors.

#FML.

But, it’s gotta be done. I can’t imagine I’d be Mrs EBG’s Favourite Bunny if I left it and she came home from Portugal tomorrow to a house full of shit.

I can just imagine the conversation…

“EBG… where the fuck did all this shit come from?”.

“What shit, Mrs EBG?”.

The lesson?

There are three.

1. Don’t let your dogs out for a piss when there’s a field full of freshly-sprayed shit just 50 yards away.
2. Shitty dogs stink but are still want to sit on your lap.
3. When you’ve got an unpleasant task and don’t know where to start… just pick somewhere and get going.

It’s just as true for your biz as it is for cleaning up after big dogs and their shitty-romp.

Fortunately… in Ground Zero we’ll share with you a simple step-by-step paint-by-numbers way to fix your biz and keep it out of the stinking shitty field of the High Street Zombie Apocalypse.

Click here for Ground Zero details

Witheringly,

P.S. When the farmers spread their shit… 

… the smell gets everywhere for a few days. You can’t escape it.

Luckily for me my sense of smell doesn’t overwhelm me like sound and vision can do, and since I was brought up in the country, I don’t mind it too much.

But there’s no denying it does stink.

Can’t help but think it’s gonna be a fucking blast at the supermarket later when I walk in stinking like a cow’s arse.

Ho hum.

Click here for Ground Zero details