And this whole month is Autism Awareness Month.

I’m a bit skeptical about how effective these “World Days” are, but I guess it can’t do any harm.

I guess anything raising awareness can’t do any harm.

And awareness, along with forbearance is what most of the autistics I know or have spoken to need.

You’re never going to understand, and your acceptance is misplaced, in my opinion. Because if you’re doing my a favour by not rejecting me out of some sense of altruism, you can go fuck yourself. It’s patronising.

There’s no doubt autism brings its challenges and for some it leads to a miserable life of exclusions and self-hatred. I know from personal experience how hard it is not fitting in and have no idea why.

As I’ve described it before, it’s like being dropped in the middle of a complex and unending game where everyone seems to know the rules instinctively… and you don’t.

But you still have to play and when you ask what the rules are, you get short-shrift and called a “freak”, because, like, everyone knows that, right?

Wrong.

We don’t.

And even when you tell us and we remember, we have no idea why that’s how it is.

You’re as much as a mystery to us as we are to you.

The difference is we’re outnumbered maybe 70:1 and so we’re the weird ones.

But it has its advantages, too (bearing in mind we’re all different and not every autistic has these traits to the same degree):

1. We can focus on a single topic for long periods of time.
2. We can disconnect emotionally from situations and not care what others think or feel (a real benefit in my line of work).
3. We can see patterns of connection in disparate data.
4. We tend to be less judgemental.
5. We tend to have excellent memories (I forget where I read that).
6. We tend not to play mind-games and engage in petty politics.
7. We tend not to have hidden agendas and are generally honest, open, and forthright (never ask me for my opinion unless you’re prepared to be hurt, because I can’t help but tell you the truth as I see it. I don’t sugar-coat things. I don’t know how to sugar-coat things or understand why anyone would want me to).
8. And the same genes expressing themselves in autism are the exact same ones making us devastatingly attractive, hung like donkeys, and superb in bed. I may have made this one up.

Just for the record: I have no formal diagnosis, although that is in the pipeline.

But spare me the “so you just think you’re autistic, then?” nonsense.

And especially spare me the “but we’re ALL a little bit autistic so you’re just overreacting” dumbfuckery. 

Expressing one or two autistic traits is not the same as being autistic, in the same way as being occasionally forgetful doesn’t mean we all have fucking Alzheimer’s.

If we were all “a bit autistic” we wouldn’t face the massive daily challenges we do. 

If we were all “a bit autistic” society would be structured so autistic people fitted into it and everyone would be clear on social rules and the nuances of social interaction. 

If everyone was a little bit autistic we wouldn’t need to promote awareness and I wouldn’t have to write this.

I get you probably mean well (or you want to be in the best and most exclusive club in the world), but it’s patronising, belittling, supremely unhelpful, and plainly fucking incorrect.

So just don’t.

Where was I…?

Until about 5 years ago I figured I was just weird, slightly broken, and a tad sociopathic. I assumed everyone was the same, only I was deficient in not coping with it as well as they did.

But then a few people I knew and who had worked with others on the spectrum took me to one side and asked if I’d ever considered I might be wired up similarly.

I dug deep and even asked people I’d known for decades and who had autistic children what their take on it was.

Their reply?

“Of course you are. I thought you knew and just didn’t want to talk about it”.

Thanks for telling me, guys. 

How ironic… always the last to get the joke.

Now?

I don’t think there’s any doubt. It explains everything in my life, going back as far as I can remember and right up to the present day.

Whichever way you look at it I fit all the diagnostic criteria, and in spades. In every test I’ve ever taken the results are unequivocal. 

Add to that my life experiences, going back to when I was a little boy being sent out of the class for shouting out answers to questions without putting my hand up (the other kids were so dumb and glacially slow), being constantly told I was “too loud”, and wondering why the teacher wanted me to take a seat and where she wanted me to take it, and as recently as being unintentionally rude to Mrs EBG when she came into my office (I’d have had no idea I’d been rude if it wasn’t for the fact I was on a call with Vicki, my coach, at the time, and she pointed it out to me), it all points the same way.

Once you know what to look for, it sticks out like a hardon in a nudist kindergarten (La Bouche and others laugh at me frequently for my foibles because they can see it too, and that’s OK. I don’t take myself seriously, and at least I’m not short, bald, and middle-aged… no, wait).

Whatever the reason, though…

… I’m still the bunny to help grow your business.

Because “normal” is what’s got you to where you are.

If you want something different… you need to work with someone different.

Click here for Ground Zero details

Witheringly,

P.S. Any questions?

Ask.

I’m not precious about it and I do want to spread awareness.

I’m not a bleeding heart, do-gooder, or SJW by any means, but I do want to help.

Think global, act local, and all that.

And if you just want help with your biz, then you know what to do.

Click here for Ground Zero details